Pets
I have always been very busy, and apart from briefly having a rabbit and several tropical fish, I’ve never actually had any domestic pets. Apart from the fact my autistic son is terrified of animals which invade his space, I personally find them too much of a tie.
If you want to go anywhere the majority need quite a bit of looking after. Most, though not all require exercise, are renowned for losing their hair and smell. However, I know many people who consider their pets an integral part of the family and either take them on holiday with them or get house sitters in whilst they are away.
When I lived “abroad” that was a good opportunity for single contractors as it meant they could spend a few days in a "family home" rather than in the company provided "bachelor accommodation". I understand also, that parents are equally useful as pet sitters as they are baby sitters, but for those pet owners who are unable to find suitable surrogate keepers, the only answer is the kennels.
That's if you can afford them as they don't come cheap. I've heard people complain the cost for the pet was almost as much as the actual holiday, and they spent most of their time away wondering if everything was okay. Also of course there are the food and vet bills to consider. Having a pet certainly isn’t cheap and requires a lot of time and effort, but I appreciate some people wouldn’t be without them.
They can be good company and I can think of one woman who claims to think more of her dog than her husband. She says it is always pleased to see her and never lets her down. I suppose she has a point and I thought of her this morning when I received this e-mail. I’ve no idea if it’s true or whether some one just made it up as a nice story but it did make me think so I thought I'd pass it on.
A Dog's Purpose (from a 6 year old)
Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife, Lisa, and their little boy, Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.
I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home. As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt Shane might learn something from the experience.
The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on.
Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.
The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker's death, wondering aloud about the sad fact than animal lives are shorter than human lives.
Shane, who had been listening quietly piped up, "I know why"
Startled, we all turned to him and what came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation.
He said, "People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life -- like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?" The six-year-old continued, "Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long."
Live simply
Love generously
Care deeply
Speak kindly
Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure.
Take naps.
Stretch before rising.
Run, romp, and play daily.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
Be loyal.
Never pretend to be something you're not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.
31/10/2007
Cancer - What You Need To Know To Help Avoid Or Fight It
Last week end I went to a "Pink Party" in my local village, where as the name suggests, everyone wore something pink.
The event wasn’t so much a party as a lunch to raise awareness of Breast Cancer. The proceeds went to support McMillan Cancer Care Nurses and very successful it was too.
The local flower arranging society gave a demonstration of their skills and the results were raffled off in a draw. There were home made cakes, jams and chutneys to make the Women’s Institute proud, a bric-a-brac stall and various other small stalls.
You could buy a drink and a cake, have a light lunch of sandwiches or go for a full meal followed by dessert, plus tea, coffee, or a soft pink juice, and all for a very reasonable price.
It was a great event for a very worthy cause and I was surprised by the amount of men there. Many, it seemed had either lost loved ones to breast cancer or were supporting someone with either that or some other form of cancer.
There are, it seems over 200 different types and, most scientists agree at least 80% are caused by man made toxic synthetic chemicals.
I often receive e-mails from people with requests to forward them to the people I care about and the following is no exception.
Please read it and take note. The information could help save your life, and that of your loved ones.
1. Every person has cancer cells in the body. These cancer cells do not show up in the standard tests until they have multiplied to a few billion. When doctors tell cancer patients that there are no more cancer cells in their bodies after treatment, it just means the tests are unable to detect the cancer cells because they have not reached the detectable size.
2. Cancer cells occur between 6 to more than 10 times in a person's lifetime.
3. When the person's immune system is strong the cancer cells will be destroyed and prevented from multiplying and forming tumors.
4. When a person has cancer it indicates the person has multiple nutritional deficiencies. The causes could be genetic, environmental, food and lifestyle.
5. To overcome the multiple nutritional deficiencies, changing diet and including supplements will strengthen the immune system.
6. Chemotherapy involves poisoning the rapidly-growing cancer cells and also destroys rapidly-growing healthy cells in the bone marrow, gastro-intestinal tract etc, and can cause organ damage, like liver, kidneys, heart, lungs etc.
7. Radiation while destroying cancer cells also burns, scars and damages healthy cells, tissues and organs.
8. Initial treatment with chemotherapy and radiation will often reduce tumor size. However, prolonged use of chemotherapy and radiation does not result in more tumor destruction.
9. When the body has too much toxic burden from chemotherapy and radiation the immune system is either compromised or destroyed, hence the person can succumb to various kinds of infections and complications.
10. Chemotherapy and radiation can cause cancer cells to mutate and become resistant and difficult to destroy. Surgery can also cause cancer cells to spread to other sites.
11. An effective way to battle cancer is to starve the cancer cells by not feeding it with the foods it needs to multiply.
Cancer Cells feed on -
a. Sugar is a cancer-feeder. By cutting off sugar it cuts off one important food supply to the cancer cells. Sugar substitutes like NutraSweet, Equal, Spoonful, etc are made with Aspartame and it is harmful. A better natural substitute would be Mänuka honey or molasses but only in very small amounts. Table salt has a chemical added to make it white in color. A better alternative is using Bragg's amino or sea salt.
b. Milk causes the body to produce mucus, especially in the gastro-intestinal tract. Cancer feeds on mucus. By cutting off milk and substituting with unsweetened Soya milk cancer cells are being starved.
c. Cancer cells thrive in an acid environment. A meat-based diet is acidic and it is best to eat fish, and a little chicken rather than beef or pork. Meat also contains livestock antibiotics,growth hormones and parasites, which are all harmful, especially to people with cancer.
d. A diet made of 80% fresh vegetables and juice, whole grains, seeds, nuts and a little fruits help the body to develop into an alkaline environment. About 20% can be from cooked food including beans. Fresh vegetable juices provide live enzymes that are easily absorbed and reach down to cellular levels within 15 minutes to nourish and enhance growth of healthy cells. To obtain live enzymes for building healthy cells try and drink fresh vegetable juice (most vegetables including bean sprouts)and eat some raw vegetables 2 or 3 times a day. Enzymes are destroyed at temperatures of 104 degrees F (40 degrees C).
e. Avoid coffee, tea, and chocolate, which have high caffeine. Green tea is a better alternative and has cancer-fighting properties. Water-best to drink purified water, or filtered, to avoid known toxins and heavy metals in tap water. Distilled water is acidic, avoid it.
12. Meat protein is difficult to digest and requires a lot of digestive enzymes. Undigested meat remaining in the intestines become putrefied and leads to more toxic build-up.
13. Cancer cell walls have a tough protein covering. By refraining from or eating less meat it frees more enzymes to attack the protein walls of cancer cells and allows the body's killer cells to destroy the cancer cells.
14. Some supplements build up the immune system (IP6, Flor-ssence, Essiac, anti-oxidants,vitamins, minerals, EFAs etc.) to enable the bodies own killer cells to destroy cancer cells. Other supplements like vitamin E are known to cause apoptosis, or programmed cell death, the body's normal method of disposing of damaged,unwanted, or unneeded cells.
15. Cancer is a disease of the mind, body, and spirit. A proactive and positive spirit will help the cancer victim become a survivor. Anger, unforgivingness and bitterness put the body into a stressful, acidic environment and enhancing the production of toxins. Learn to have a loving and forgiving spirit. Learn to relax and enjoy life. After all you only have one body. And you only live once.
16. Cancer cells cannot thrive in an oxygenated environment. Exercising daily and deep breathing help to get more oxygen down to the cellular level. Oxygen therapy is another means employed to destroy cancer cells.
For the world's first organic personal care products certified to the highest international food grade standards with no toxins or synthetic chemicals
The event wasn’t so much a party as a lunch to raise awareness of Breast Cancer. The proceeds went to support McMillan Cancer Care Nurses and very successful it was too.
The local flower arranging society gave a demonstration of their skills and the results were raffled off in a draw. There were home made cakes, jams and chutneys to make the Women’s Institute proud, a bric-a-brac stall and various other small stalls.
You could buy a drink and a cake, have a light lunch of sandwiches or go for a full meal followed by dessert, plus tea, coffee, or a soft pink juice, and all for a very reasonable price.
It was a great event for a very worthy cause and I was surprised by the amount of men there. Many, it seemed had either lost loved ones to breast cancer or were supporting someone with either that or some other form of cancer.
There are, it seems over 200 different types and, most scientists agree at least 80% are caused by man made toxic synthetic chemicals.
I often receive e-mails from people with requests to forward them to the people I care about and the following is no exception.
Please read it and take note. The information could help save your life, and that of your loved ones.
1. Every person has cancer cells in the body. These cancer cells do not show up in the standard tests until they have multiplied to a few billion. When doctors tell cancer patients that there are no more cancer cells in their bodies after treatment, it just means the tests are unable to detect the cancer cells because they have not reached the detectable size.
2. Cancer cells occur between 6 to more than 10 times in a person's lifetime.
3. When the person's immune system is strong the cancer cells will be destroyed and prevented from multiplying and forming tumors.
4. When a person has cancer it indicates the person has multiple nutritional deficiencies. The causes could be genetic, environmental, food and lifestyle.
5. To overcome the multiple nutritional deficiencies, changing diet and including supplements will strengthen the immune system.
6. Chemotherapy involves poisoning the rapidly-growing cancer cells and also destroys rapidly-growing healthy cells in the bone marrow, gastro-intestinal tract etc, and can cause organ damage, like liver, kidneys, heart, lungs etc.
7. Radiation while destroying cancer cells also burns, scars and damages healthy cells, tissues and organs.
8. Initial treatment with chemotherapy and radiation will often reduce tumor size. However, prolonged use of chemotherapy and radiation does not result in more tumor destruction.
9. When the body has too much toxic burden from chemotherapy and radiation the immune system is either compromised or destroyed, hence the person can succumb to various kinds of infections and complications.
10. Chemotherapy and radiation can cause cancer cells to mutate and become resistant and difficult to destroy. Surgery can also cause cancer cells to spread to other sites.
11. An effective way to battle cancer is to starve the cancer cells by not feeding it with the foods it needs to multiply.
Cancer Cells feed on -
a. Sugar is a cancer-feeder. By cutting off sugar it cuts off one important food supply to the cancer cells. Sugar substitutes like NutraSweet, Equal, Spoonful, etc are made with Aspartame and it is harmful. A better natural substitute would be Mänuka honey or molasses but only in very small amounts. Table salt has a chemical added to make it white in color. A better alternative is using Bragg's amino or sea salt.
b. Milk causes the body to produce mucus, especially in the gastro-intestinal tract. Cancer feeds on mucus. By cutting off milk and substituting with unsweetened Soya milk cancer cells are being starved.
c. Cancer cells thrive in an acid environment. A meat-based diet is acidic and it is best to eat fish, and a little chicken rather than beef or pork. Meat also contains livestock antibiotics,growth hormones and parasites, which are all harmful, especially to people with cancer.
d. A diet made of 80% fresh vegetables and juice, whole grains, seeds, nuts and a little fruits help the body to develop into an alkaline environment. About 20% can be from cooked food including beans. Fresh vegetable juices provide live enzymes that are easily absorbed and reach down to cellular levels within 15 minutes to nourish and enhance growth of healthy cells. To obtain live enzymes for building healthy cells try and drink fresh vegetable juice (most vegetables including bean sprouts)and eat some raw vegetables 2 or 3 times a day. Enzymes are destroyed at temperatures of 104 degrees F (40 degrees C).
e. Avoid coffee, tea, and chocolate, which have high caffeine. Green tea is a better alternative and has cancer-fighting properties. Water-best to drink purified water, or filtered, to avoid known toxins and heavy metals in tap water. Distilled water is acidic, avoid it.
12. Meat protein is difficult to digest and requires a lot of digestive enzymes. Undigested meat remaining in the intestines become putrefied and leads to more toxic build-up.
13. Cancer cell walls have a tough protein covering. By refraining from or eating less meat it frees more enzymes to attack the protein walls of cancer cells and allows the body's killer cells to destroy the cancer cells.
14. Some supplements build up the immune system (IP6, Flor-ssence, Essiac, anti-oxidants,vitamins, minerals, EFAs etc.) to enable the bodies own killer cells to destroy cancer cells. Other supplements like vitamin E are known to cause apoptosis, or programmed cell death, the body's normal method of disposing of damaged,unwanted, or unneeded cells.
15. Cancer is a disease of the mind, body, and spirit. A proactive and positive spirit will help the cancer victim become a survivor. Anger, unforgivingness and bitterness put the body into a stressful, acidic environment and enhancing the production of toxins. Learn to have a loving and forgiving spirit. Learn to relax and enjoy life. After all you only have one body. And you only live once.
16. Cancer cells cannot thrive in an oxygenated environment. Exercising daily and deep breathing help to get more oxygen down to the cellular level. Oxygen therapy is another means employed to destroy cancer cells.
For the world's first organic personal care products certified to the highest international food grade standards with no toxins or synthetic chemicals
18/09/2007
Relax - Life's Too Precious To Waste
I don't know about you but I've found as I get older I seem to have lost the ability to relax and am always busy doing something.
My family have told me I must have a "rest" but I find it difficult. Even if I do just sit in a chair my mind doesn't switch off. There are so many things I feel I must "do".
However, this past week I have had a complete break from the computer and my normal day/night "job" and have spent it on a caravan holiday. Actually it was more of an educational trip as we were searching for further educational facilities for our autistic son when he leaves school.
Hopefully it was successful. Time will tell.
The break did me good and I came back feeling refreshed despite our caravan site being at the end of a runway. We weren't aware of the location when we booked, but saw a Typhoon, Lancaster Bomber, Spitfire and a Hurricane which were interesting if you like that sort of thing.
However, the Harriers, F15's and Tornados made an impressive sight flying over at 200 feet – noisy but impressive!
Unfortunately, when I returned home and turned on the computer I was faced with so many e-mails I received a message to say my in-box couldn't hold any more.
My sense of well being soon disappeared.
Spam is a big issue these days and often it's hard to know which e-mails to read and which to ignore. For me the subject line is a big deciding factor or a recognisable sender's address.
Sometimes, however, I just get drawn to e-mails and can't explain why. This is one I read and I think someone, somewhere is trying to tell me something.
Maybe it's a wake up call and I need to listen. Life is too precious to waste.
What do you think?
IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Erma Bombeck
(written after she found out she was dying from cancer)
I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.
I would have talked less and listened more.
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband. I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.
I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realised that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner." There would have been more "I love you's," more "I'm sorry's."
But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it, live it and never give it back.
STOP SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF!
Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what. Instead, cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.
Let's think about what God HAS blessed us with, and what we are doing each day to promote ourselves mentally, physically, and emotionally.
I hope you have a blessed day.
My family have told me I must have a "rest" but I find it difficult. Even if I do just sit in a chair my mind doesn't switch off. There are so many things I feel I must "do".
However, this past week I have had a complete break from the computer and my normal day/night "job" and have spent it on a caravan holiday. Actually it was more of an educational trip as we were searching for further educational facilities for our autistic son when he leaves school.
Hopefully it was successful. Time will tell.
The break did me good and I came back feeling refreshed despite our caravan site being at the end of a runway. We weren't aware of the location when we booked, but saw a Typhoon, Lancaster Bomber, Spitfire and a Hurricane which were interesting if you like that sort of thing.
However, the Harriers, F15's and Tornados made an impressive sight flying over at 200 feet – noisy but impressive!
Unfortunately, when I returned home and turned on the computer I was faced with so many e-mails I received a message to say my in-box couldn't hold any more.
My sense of well being soon disappeared.
Spam is a big issue these days and often it's hard to know which e-mails to read and which to ignore. For me the subject line is a big deciding factor or a recognisable sender's address.
Sometimes, however, I just get drawn to e-mails and can't explain why. This is one I read and I think someone, somewhere is trying to tell me something.
Maybe it's a wake up call and I need to listen. Life is too precious to waste.
What do you think?
IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Erma Bombeck
(written after she found out she was dying from cancer)
I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.
I would have talked less and listened more.
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband. I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.
I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realised that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner." There would have been more "I love you's," more "I'm sorry's."
But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it, live it and never give it back.
STOP SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF!
Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what. Instead, cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.
Let's think about what God HAS blessed us with, and what we are doing each day to promote ourselves mentally, physically, and emotionally.
I hope you have a blessed day.
06/09/2007
Autism And Disability - Why Little Things Can Mean A Lot
My son developed autism just after his first birthday and I wouldn't describe my life since as being easy.
However, today I was reminded just how lucky I am.
Through various non invasive interventions, endless patience and persistence, he has developed into a nice young man who I can now take most places without wishing the ground would open up and swallow me.
My son is eighteen, physically very capable with a great sense of balance and hand/eye co-ordination.
He's now easy to look after and despite using limited language to communicate, he tries very hard in other ways to let people know what he wants and needs.
Another boy I know also tries very hard to communicate. However, he's not quite so physically able, infact he's in a wheelchair.
Now eight, he's become a very frustrated little individual who likes to assert himself whenever possible.
Unfortunately it is making it increasingly difficult for his mother to look after him and take him out alone.
Not only is he getting bigger and heavier, but where once he was happy to be pushed along wherever his mother chose, he now grabs on to anything he can get his hands on to prevent the wheelchair moving, especially if it means leaving somewhere he enjoys.
Railings, gates, lamp posts are all becoming hazardous and he's now mastered the art of the wheel chair equivalent of an emergency stop by putting on the brake when the chair is in motion.
The last time he did it his mother had taken him to a play park and he'd been reluctant to leave. Needless to say he'd entwined his little fingers around every thing he could manage on the route back to the car.
His mother anticipated further problems once they reached the vehicle so as soon as they got in range she got her keys out to open the car by remote control.
The plan was to make the transition from chair to car as quick as possible but her son had other ideas. He pulled on the brake, the chair tipped up and in her haste to keep it upright she dropped the keys down the drain.
The mother just sat down on the kerb and laughed. She had to, if not she would have cried and I know from experience that once you start it can take a long time to stop.
Hearing that story made me once more appreciate just how lucky I am.
One thing which would have made a considerable difference to the lady in question would have been a companion to help her - a friend - another pair of hands.
Over the years I have come to know one thing with certainty and that is the people who require the help the most are the ones least likely to ask for it.
I'd like you to bear that in mind the next time you think about your friend, relation or neighbour and imagine walking a day in their shoes.
Sometimes, even the smallest, simplest thing can mean so much and the difference between being able to cope or not.
I am fortunate in that I have a Circle of Friends for my son. They are people who have his best interests at heart and do fun things with him. It gives him the opportunity to enjoy a variety of activities, and gives me a break from having to be completely responsible all the time.
All are volunteers and help because they want to. They derive as much pleasure from the association as my son does and we all benefit from the relationship.
My Circle also enables me to give quality time to other family members. Often disabilities split families in two and I know of several couples who always do different activities so their "normal" children don't lose out. Some even take separate holidays.
Being a parent is never an easy task but when you have a child with a disability the family unit is frequently under strain. Many couples can't take it and there are more than a few mothers (and fathers) left to cope alone.
I know we all live in a busy world but most of us could, if we wanted, spare a few hours a month to help someone in need.
Believe me, it can make a huge difference.
For more information on autism and how to form a circle of friends
However, today I was reminded just how lucky I am.
Through various non invasive interventions, endless patience and persistence, he has developed into a nice young man who I can now take most places without wishing the ground would open up and swallow me.
My son is eighteen, physically very capable with a great sense of balance and hand/eye co-ordination.
He's now easy to look after and despite using limited language to communicate, he tries very hard in other ways to let people know what he wants and needs.
Another boy I know also tries very hard to communicate. However, he's not quite so physically able, infact he's in a wheelchair.
Now eight, he's become a very frustrated little individual who likes to assert himself whenever possible.
Unfortunately it is making it increasingly difficult for his mother to look after him and take him out alone.
Not only is he getting bigger and heavier, but where once he was happy to be pushed along wherever his mother chose, he now grabs on to anything he can get his hands on to prevent the wheelchair moving, especially if it means leaving somewhere he enjoys.
Railings, gates, lamp posts are all becoming hazardous and he's now mastered the art of the wheel chair equivalent of an emergency stop by putting on the brake when the chair is in motion.
The last time he did it his mother had taken him to a play park and he'd been reluctant to leave. Needless to say he'd entwined his little fingers around every thing he could manage on the route back to the car.
His mother anticipated further problems once they reached the vehicle so as soon as they got in range she got her keys out to open the car by remote control.
The plan was to make the transition from chair to car as quick as possible but her son had other ideas. He pulled on the brake, the chair tipped up and in her haste to keep it upright she dropped the keys down the drain.
The mother just sat down on the kerb and laughed. She had to, if not she would have cried and I know from experience that once you start it can take a long time to stop.
Hearing that story made me once more appreciate just how lucky I am.
One thing which would have made a considerable difference to the lady in question would have been a companion to help her - a friend - another pair of hands.
Over the years I have come to know one thing with certainty and that is the people who require the help the most are the ones least likely to ask for it.
I'd like you to bear that in mind the next time you think about your friend, relation or neighbour and imagine walking a day in their shoes.
Sometimes, even the smallest, simplest thing can mean so much and the difference between being able to cope or not.
I am fortunate in that I have a Circle of Friends for my son. They are people who have his best interests at heart and do fun things with him. It gives him the opportunity to enjoy a variety of activities, and gives me a break from having to be completely responsible all the time.
All are volunteers and help because they want to. They derive as much pleasure from the association as my son does and we all benefit from the relationship.
My Circle also enables me to give quality time to other family members. Often disabilities split families in two and I know of several couples who always do different activities so their "normal" children don't lose out. Some even take separate holidays.
Being a parent is never an easy task but when you have a child with a disability the family unit is frequently under strain. Many couples can't take it and there are more than a few mothers (and fathers) left to cope alone.
I know we all live in a busy world but most of us could, if we wanted, spare a few hours a month to help someone in need.
Believe me, it can make a huge difference.
For more information on autism and how to form a circle of friends
26/07/2007
Autism - It May Not Be A Living Nightmare But Is A Reason To Worry
If you've read my previous articles you will know the other day on breakfast television, autism was described as a "living nightmare". That really made my day as my son is autistic.
Certainly autism is a lifelong disability and for parents it's a real worry.
My son is eighteen and autistic. He bears no resemblance now to the "child from hell" whom I wrote about in my first book.
I make that statement just incase anyone reading this has just had their child diagnosed with autism and is filled with despair. Take it from someone who's been there, done that and got the tee-shirt - it can get better.
However, the problems don't go away. They just change.
Whilst I am no expert, my best advice would be to accept the autism diagnosis and do whatever you can, as quickly as you can to help your child be the best he or she can be.
The real "experts" and just about everyone involved with autism all agree the earlier the intervention, the better.
Still, the reality is autism is a lifelong disability and whilst your child can, and most probably will improve in many areas, he or she will always be vulnerable and most likely need some sort of support.
It's a worry.
My son will soon have to leave the security blanket afforded by the children's service and enter the world of the "adults". Unfortunately the help provided there is sparse and frequently inappropriate. Often it is centred on what the person can't do rather than what he or she can.
As I said my son has improved tremendously and with the right support is capable of all sorts of things.
He seldom speaks and academically is a very young child but when it comes to routine household and domestic chores I have more confidence in him than in my "normal" son who is almost two years older. (Sorry son, but you know it's true).
I have no qualms about him cooking, ironing, cleaning, decorating, gardening or any such tasks provided he is supervised. He is careful with tools and is very tidy, is observant, has an eye for detail and a great memory.
Most autistic individuals like routine so if you show them how to do something properly from the start then they are likely to do it that way forever.
You just have to make sure they don't get too rigid about routines. If I explain things to my son he's now happy to accept and make changes. It wasn't always so but the current happy state of affairs has evolved over the years.
It just takes endless patience and persistence.
However, there's one area I can't explain to him and that is emotions and empathy for other people. He is much better than he used to be but I'm sure he'll never understand the concept of love and that's a concern for me at the moment.
Why?
Well, it's really to do with a teenage girl he regularly comes into contact with. I think she has Asperger's Syndrome, or at least she is on the autistic spectrum somewhere and her hormones have kicked into overdrive.
She is sociable to say the least.
Having kissed most of the boys in the school and scared half of them (and their parents) by declaring she wants to have their babies, she now appears to have set her sights on my son.
Maybe she sees him as a challenge because he is so totally disinterested. That's the major difference between Asperger's and Autism. One desperately wants to fit in and be liked whilst the other doesn't care.
Anyway, they were apparently seen having a full kiss the other evening at the youth club and when questioned, this young temptress smiled and with a twinkle in her eye declared that since my son doesn't speak it was just his way of saying "Hello".
However, he doesn't greet anyone else in that manner so I suspect the lip lock wasn't instigated by my son.
It worries me.
You see whilst he doesn't express emotions he does have feelings. His brain may not function correctly but the rest of him certainly does. Since that kiss I've begun to wonder what will happen if he should decide he likes the feeling he gets when he kisses (or is kissed by) a girl.
My son learns by example and is vulnerable. Hopefully he'll never be left alone with a member of the opposite sex because although at the moment he prefers to watch Thomas the Tank Engine and Disney videos to Desperate Housewives, it could just be a matter of time before he is exposed to such programmes and what these days his more liberated peers consider "normal".
Remember he learns by example.
It would only take a few minutes with a learning disabled hormonal Lolita with little or no understanding of the consequences of unprotected sex and my son could find himself a father. He wouldn't even know how or why.
Autism is a lifelong disability and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It may or may not be a "living nightmare" but it certainly is a worry.
For more information on autism visit http://www.jeanshaw.com
Certainly autism is a lifelong disability and for parents it's a real worry.
My son is eighteen and autistic. He bears no resemblance now to the "child from hell" whom I wrote about in my first book.
I make that statement just incase anyone reading this has just had their child diagnosed with autism and is filled with despair. Take it from someone who's been there, done that and got the tee-shirt - it can get better.
However, the problems don't go away. They just change.
Whilst I am no expert, my best advice would be to accept the autism diagnosis and do whatever you can, as quickly as you can to help your child be the best he or she can be.
The real "experts" and just about everyone involved with autism all agree the earlier the intervention, the better.
Still, the reality is autism is a lifelong disability and whilst your child can, and most probably will improve in many areas, he or she will always be vulnerable and most likely need some sort of support.
It's a worry.
My son will soon have to leave the security blanket afforded by the children's service and enter the world of the "adults". Unfortunately the help provided there is sparse and frequently inappropriate. Often it is centred on what the person can't do rather than what he or she can.
As I said my son has improved tremendously and with the right support is capable of all sorts of things.
He seldom speaks and academically is a very young child but when it comes to routine household and domestic chores I have more confidence in him than in my "normal" son who is almost two years older. (Sorry son, but you know it's true).
I have no qualms about him cooking, ironing, cleaning, decorating, gardening or any such tasks provided he is supervised. He is careful with tools and is very tidy, is observant, has an eye for detail and a great memory.
Most autistic individuals like routine so if you show them how to do something properly from the start then they are likely to do it that way forever.
You just have to make sure they don't get too rigid about routines. If I explain things to my son he's now happy to accept and make changes. It wasn't always so but the current happy state of affairs has evolved over the years.
It just takes endless patience and persistence.
However, there's one area I can't explain to him and that is emotions and empathy for other people. He is much better than he used to be but I'm sure he'll never understand the concept of love and that's a concern for me at the moment.
Why?
Well, it's really to do with a teenage girl he regularly comes into contact with. I think she has Asperger's Syndrome, or at least she is on the autistic spectrum somewhere and her hormones have kicked into overdrive.
She is sociable to say the least.
Having kissed most of the boys in the school and scared half of them (and their parents) by declaring she wants to have their babies, she now appears to have set her sights on my son.
Maybe she sees him as a challenge because he is so totally disinterested. That's the major difference between Asperger's and Autism. One desperately wants to fit in and be liked whilst the other doesn't care.
Anyway, they were apparently seen having a full kiss the other evening at the youth club and when questioned, this young temptress smiled and with a twinkle in her eye declared that since my son doesn't speak it was just his way of saying "Hello".
However, he doesn't greet anyone else in that manner so I suspect the lip lock wasn't instigated by my son.
It worries me.
You see whilst he doesn't express emotions he does have feelings. His brain may not function correctly but the rest of him certainly does. Since that kiss I've begun to wonder what will happen if he should decide he likes the feeling he gets when he kisses (or is kissed by) a girl.
My son learns by example and is vulnerable. Hopefully he'll never be left alone with a member of the opposite sex because although at the moment he prefers to watch Thomas the Tank Engine and Disney videos to Desperate Housewives, it could just be a matter of time before he is exposed to such programmes and what these days his more liberated peers consider "normal".
Remember he learns by example.
It would only take a few minutes with a learning disabled hormonal Lolita with little or no understanding of the consequences of unprotected sex and my son could find himself a father. He wouldn't even know how or why.
Autism is a lifelong disability and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It may or may not be a "living nightmare" but it certainly is a worry.
For more information on autism visit http://www.jeanshaw.com
Leptospirosis (Weil's Disease) And Why You Should NEVER Drink From Cans
I am always annoying my family by insisting they don't drink from cans or bottles. Unless I "nag" them when we are out they will happily just purchase one from a shop somewhere and raise it to their mouths.
Maybe they feel drinking from a straw or glass isn't macho or cool. At home they have no such qualms and always use glasses, usually so many I complain about the washing up.
There is a very good reason for my insistence however and relates to an incident which happened several years ago when I lived in Brunei.
One Friday afternoon a fit young family man who played football for a local team bought a can of drink from a restaurant situated close to the river. He drank directly from the can and died soon after. It was said he died of Weil’s (pronounced Viles) disease. It caused quit a stir at the time and I've never forgotten it.
I was reminded of the incident today when I opened my e-mail and read this:-
"A woman went boating one Sunday taking with her some cans of coke which she put into the refrigerator of the boat.
On Monday she was taken to the hospital and placed in the Intensive Care Unit.
She died on Wednesday.
The autopsy concluded she died of leptospirosis. This was traced to the can of coke she drank from as she hadn't used a glass.
Tests showed the can was infected by dried rat urine and hence the disease Leptospirosis."
Rat urine contains toxic and deadly substances. They are all around us and it is estimated no-one lives within a few feet of one these days, especially with the amount of food waste and rubbish left lying around.
They live anywhere where there is food and are not fussy about what they class as food. Rats often live in sewers and drains.
Rats can swim and with unusual weather conditions and unprecedented rain fall in many areas, flooding has left several areas not as clean as they should be.
If you must drink from cans or bottles I strongly recommended you thoroughly wash them first – at least the upper parts.
Cans are typically stocked in warehouses and transported straight to shops without being cleaned. Even if they have that plastic wrapping over the trays of cans when they reach the stores you need to consider that someone will stack them on the display shelves.
Do you know what is on their hands? Have they washed them?
A study at NYCU showed that the tops of soda cans are more contaminated than Public toilets i.e., full of germs and bacteria.
My husband often complains of the amount of men who walk straight out of the public toilets without first washing their hands. I'm sure it's the same for many women and that thought usually crosses my mind if I shake hands with anyone.
I have no such worries with my autistic son who is an "expert" hand washer. He has been known to almost hold up planes and stage performances because of it.
However, with so many infections seemingly resistant to treatment these days we need to take as much care of our health as possible.
Antibiotics and antibacterial products are no longer the answer.
What many people do not realise is that these kill ALL bacteria and many are really very useful and necessary.
Instead of using "anti" products you need to use "pro" products and they certainly are available.
I use all natural, general purpose, probiotic cleaning products and certified organic, probiotic health products.
Now instead of having my house full of toxic chemical laced cleaners, I have a powerful army of beneficial bacteria who regenerate, repopulate and dominate over the harmful, disease causing pathogenic bacteria, which are causing such concern both in homes and in our hospitals.
Please take care of your health, and if you must drink from bottles and cans PLEASE wash them with water BEFORE putting them to your mouth.
Leptospirosis or Weil’s disease can be fatal.
Certified Organic Probiotics
Maybe they feel drinking from a straw or glass isn't macho or cool. At home they have no such qualms and always use glasses, usually so many I complain about the washing up.
There is a very good reason for my insistence however and relates to an incident which happened several years ago when I lived in Brunei.
One Friday afternoon a fit young family man who played football for a local team bought a can of drink from a restaurant situated close to the river. He drank directly from the can and died soon after. It was said he died of Weil’s (pronounced Viles) disease. It caused quit a stir at the time and I've never forgotten it.
I was reminded of the incident today when I opened my e-mail and read this:-
"A woman went boating one Sunday taking with her some cans of coke which she put into the refrigerator of the boat.
On Monday she was taken to the hospital and placed in the Intensive Care Unit.
She died on Wednesday.
The autopsy concluded she died of leptospirosis. This was traced to the can of coke she drank from as she hadn't used a glass.
Tests showed the can was infected by dried rat urine and hence the disease Leptospirosis."
Rat urine contains toxic and deadly substances. They are all around us and it is estimated no-one lives within a few feet of one these days, especially with the amount of food waste and rubbish left lying around.
They live anywhere where there is food and are not fussy about what they class as food. Rats often live in sewers and drains.
Rats can swim and with unusual weather conditions and unprecedented rain fall in many areas, flooding has left several areas not as clean as they should be.
If you must drink from cans or bottles I strongly recommended you thoroughly wash them first – at least the upper parts.
Cans are typically stocked in warehouses and transported straight to shops without being cleaned. Even if they have that plastic wrapping over the trays of cans when they reach the stores you need to consider that someone will stack them on the display shelves.
Do you know what is on their hands? Have they washed them?
A study at NYCU showed that the tops of soda cans are more contaminated than Public toilets i.e., full of germs and bacteria.
My husband often complains of the amount of men who walk straight out of the public toilets without first washing their hands. I'm sure it's the same for many women and that thought usually crosses my mind if I shake hands with anyone.
I have no such worries with my autistic son who is an "expert" hand washer. He has been known to almost hold up planes and stage performances because of it.
However, with so many infections seemingly resistant to treatment these days we need to take as much care of our health as possible.
Antibiotics and antibacterial products are no longer the answer.
What many people do not realise is that these kill ALL bacteria and many are really very useful and necessary.
Instead of using "anti" products you need to use "pro" products and they certainly are available.
I use all natural, general purpose, probiotic cleaning products and certified organic, probiotic health products.
Now instead of having my house full of toxic chemical laced cleaners, I have a powerful army of beneficial bacteria who regenerate, repopulate and dominate over the harmful, disease causing pathogenic bacteria, which are causing such concern both in homes and in our hospitals.
Please take care of your health, and if you must drink from bottles and cans PLEASE wash them with water BEFORE putting them to your mouth.
Leptospirosis or Weil’s disease can be fatal.
Certified Organic Probiotics
21/07/2007
Autism - One Reason I Wish Time Would Stand Still
On the television the other morning someone described autism as a "living nightmare". I'm not sure I'd personally go that far yet but it certainly is a major concern - at least for the parents.
My son is autistic and is eighteen. Until now he has been very lucky. He has been able to access support via childrens' services, but I realise many people aren't as fortunate. I've heard numerous tales of parents who've had to really fight for what little help they've had and many get none at all.
I do, but that will soon change. Although my son can already legally drive, drink and vote, he is considered a child until he is nineteen and can remain at his special needs school and go to respite once a month until then. However, as soon as he hits that age he becomes an adult.
Whilst his needs will still be the same, the help to which he will be entitled will be reduced - considerably. Suddenly everything, which has become so familiar to him over the years, will stop.
I wish for his sake and mine time would stand still.
We are currently in the "transition" period where we are exploring the options available to him. They are limited to say the least but we are fortunate in as much as he is not physically disabled which must make things far more difficult.
However, nothing we have seen so far even comes close to what we aspire. The local options aren't really suitable and aren't conducive to his continued improvement. It's depressing and I often wish I could go to sleep and wake up to find the whole autism thing was just a bad dream.
Having said that I realise I am actually one of the lucky ones for my son has got options. Other autistic children/adults don't. It's no wonder parents despair and either accept anything offered, or send their children miles away to some form of residential unit simply because there is nothing appropriate closer to home.
The National Autistic Society now suggests 1 in 100 children suffer from some form of autistic spectrum disorder. In 1993 when my son was diagnosed it was 1 in 2500.
The problem is that all these autistic children will grow up to be autistic adults, and the big question is what will they do?
Apparently only 15% of adults with autism manage to hold down employment and 49% never leave home. That means in many cases elderly parents are effectively looking after their age 40 plus children and it's a worry. What happens if they get ill? Who then will look after their children and how will they adapt?
It's a frightening scenario and one that many parents currently face. Since autism is a problem that isn't going away there needs to be more co-ordinated planning and services put in place before it is too late.
Families need help to enable their adults with autism to be more independent otherwise the cost to the community will be immense. If there is no-where for the people with autism to work then their carers can't work either.
I once heard someone exclaim the world would be destroyed by the three A's - anger, avarice and autism. Maybe that's true.
We are already seeing wars and violence created by anger and greed. Now think about all the autistic children you know. They are the adults of the future.
Frightening isn't it?
Now you know one reason I wish time would stand still.
For mor information on autism visit http://www.jeanshaw.com
My son is autistic and is eighteen. Until now he has been very lucky. He has been able to access support via childrens' services, but I realise many people aren't as fortunate. I've heard numerous tales of parents who've had to really fight for what little help they've had and many get none at all.
I do, but that will soon change. Although my son can already legally drive, drink and vote, he is considered a child until he is nineteen and can remain at his special needs school and go to respite once a month until then. However, as soon as he hits that age he becomes an adult.
Whilst his needs will still be the same, the help to which he will be entitled will be reduced - considerably. Suddenly everything, which has become so familiar to him over the years, will stop.
I wish for his sake and mine time would stand still.
We are currently in the "transition" period where we are exploring the options available to him. They are limited to say the least but we are fortunate in as much as he is not physically disabled which must make things far more difficult.
However, nothing we have seen so far even comes close to what we aspire. The local options aren't really suitable and aren't conducive to his continued improvement. It's depressing and I often wish I could go to sleep and wake up to find the whole autism thing was just a bad dream.
Having said that I realise I am actually one of the lucky ones for my son has got options. Other autistic children/adults don't. It's no wonder parents despair and either accept anything offered, or send their children miles away to some form of residential unit simply because there is nothing appropriate closer to home.
The National Autistic Society now suggests 1 in 100 children suffer from some form of autistic spectrum disorder. In 1993 when my son was diagnosed it was 1 in 2500.
The problem is that all these autistic children will grow up to be autistic adults, and the big question is what will they do?
Apparently only 15% of adults with autism manage to hold down employment and 49% never leave home. That means in many cases elderly parents are effectively looking after their age 40 plus children and it's a worry. What happens if they get ill? Who then will look after their children and how will they adapt?
It's a frightening scenario and one that many parents currently face. Since autism is a problem that isn't going away there needs to be more co-ordinated planning and services put in place before it is too late.
Families need help to enable their adults with autism to be more independent otherwise the cost to the community will be immense. If there is no-where for the people with autism to work then their carers can't work either.
I once heard someone exclaim the world would be destroyed by the three A's - anger, avarice and autism. Maybe that's true.
We are already seeing wars and violence created by anger and greed. Now think about all the autistic children you know. They are the adults of the future.
Frightening isn't it?
Now you know one reason I wish time would stand still.
For mor information on autism visit http://www.jeanshaw.com
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
