If you've read my previous articles you will know the other day on breakfast television, autism was described as a "living nightmare". That really made my day as my son is autistic.
Certainly autism is a lifelong disability and for parents it's a real worry.
My son is eighteen and autistic. He bears no resemblance now to the "child from hell" whom I wrote about in my first book.
I make that statement just incase anyone reading this has just had their child diagnosed with autism and is filled with despair. Take it from someone who's been there, done that and got the tee-shirt - it can get better.
However, the problems don't go away. They just change.
Whilst I am no expert, my best advice would be to accept the autism diagnosis and do whatever you can, as quickly as you can to help your child be the best he or she can be.
The real "experts" and just about everyone involved with autism all agree the earlier the intervention, the better.
Still, the reality is autism is a lifelong disability and whilst your child can, and most probably will improve in many areas, he or she will always be vulnerable and most likely need some sort of support.
It's a worry.
My son will soon have to leave the security blanket afforded by the children's service and enter the world of the "adults". Unfortunately the help provided there is sparse and frequently inappropriate. Often it is centred on what the person can't do rather than what he or she can.
As I said my son has improved tremendously and with the right support is capable of all sorts of things.
He seldom speaks and academically is a very young child but when it comes to routine household and domestic chores I have more confidence in him than in my "normal" son who is almost two years older. (Sorry son, but you know it's true).
I have no qualms about him cooking, ironing, cleaning, decorating, gardening or any such tasks provided he is supervised. He is careful with tools and is very tidy, is observant, has an eye for detail and a great memory.
Most autistic individuals like routine so if you show them how to do something properly from the start then they are likely to do it that way forever.
You just have to make sure they don't get too rigid about routines. If I explain things to my son he's now happy to accept and make changes. It wasn't always so but the current happy state of affairs has evolved over the years.
It just takes endless patience and persistence.
However, there's one area I can't explain to him and that is emotions and empathy for other people. He is much better than he used to be but I'm sure he'll never understand the concept of love and that's a concern for me at the moment.
Why?
Well, it's really to do with a teenage girl he regularly comes into contact with. I think she has Asperger's Syndrome, or at least she is on the autistic spectrum somewhere and her hormones have kicked into overdrive.
She is sociable to say the least.
Having kissed most of the boys in the school and scared half of them (and their parents) by declaring she wants to have their babies, she now appears to have set her sights on my son.
Maybe she sees him as a challenge because he is so totally disinterested. That's the major difference between Asperger's and Autism. One desperately wants to fit in and be liked whilst the other doesn't care.
Anyway, they were apparently seen having a full kiss the other evening at the youth club and when questioned, this young temptress smiled and with a twinkle in her eye declared that since my son doesn't speak it was just his way of saying "Hello".
However, he doesn't greet anyone else in that manner so I suspect the lip lock wasn't instigated by my son.
It worries me.
You see whilst he doesn't express emotions he does have feelings. His brain may not function correctly but the rest of him certainly does. Since that kiss I've begun to wonder what will happen if he should decide he likes the feeling he gets when he kisses (or is kissed by) a girl.
My son learns by example and is vulnerable. Hopefully he'll never be left alone with a member of the opposite sex because although at the moment he prefers to watch Thomas the Tank Engine and Disney videos to Desperate Housewives, it could just be a matter of time before he is exposed to such programmes and what these days his more liberated peers consider "normal".
Remember he learns by example.
It would only take a few minutes with a learning disabled hormonal Lolita with little or no understanding of the consequences of unprotected sex and my son could find himself a father. He wouldn't even know how or why.
Autism is a lifelong disability and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It may or may not be a "living nightmare" but it certainly is a worry.
For more information on autism visit http://www.jeanshaw.com
Showing posts with label Autism - adults. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Autism - adults. Show all posts
21/07/2007
Autism - One Reason I Wish Time Would Stand Still
On the television the other morning someone described autism as a "living nightmare". I'm not sure I'd personally go that far yet but it certainly is a major concern - at least for the parents.
My son is autistic and is eighteen. Until now he has been very lucky. He has been able to access support via childrens' services, but I realise many people aren't as fortunate. I've heard numerous tales of parents who've had to really fight for what little help they've had and many get none at all.
I do, but that will soon change. Although my son can already legally drive, drink and vote, he is considered a child until he is nineteen and can remain at his special needs school and go to respite once a month until then. However, as soon as he hits that age he becomes an adult.
Whilst his needs will still be the same, the help to which he will be entitled will be reduced - considerably. Suddenly everything, which has become so familiar to him over the years, will stop.
I wish for his sake and mine time would stand still.
We are currently in the "transition" period where we are exploring the options available to him. They are limited to say the least but we are fortunate in as much as he is not physically disabled which must make things far more difficult.
However, nothing we have seen so far even comes close to what we aspire. The local options aren't really suitable and aren't conducive to his continued improvement. It's depressing and I often wish I could go to sleep and wake up to find the whole autism thing was just a bad dream.
Having said that I realise I am actually one of the lucky ones for my son has got options. Other autistic children/adults don't. It's no wonder parents despair and either accept anything offered, or send their children miles away to some form of residential unit simply because there is nothing appropriate closer to home.
The National Autistic Society now suggests 1 in 100 children suffer from some form of autistic spectrum disorder. In 1993 when my son was diagnosed it was 1 in 2500.
The problem is that all these autistic children will grow up to be autistic adults, and the big question is what will they do?
Apparently only 15% of adults with autism manage to hold down employment and 49% never leave home. That means in many cases elderly parents are effectively looking after their age 40 plus children and it's a worry. What happens if they get ill? Who then will look after their children and how will they adapt?
It's a frightening scenario and one that many parents currently face. Since autism is a problem that isn't going away there needs to be more co-ordinated planning and services put in place before it is too late.
Families need help to enable their adults with autism to be more independent otherwise the cost to the community will be immense. If there is no-where for the people with autism to work then their carers can't work either.
I once heard someone exclaim the world would be destroyed by the three A's - anger, avarice and autism. Maybe that's true.
We are already seeing wars and violence created by anger and greed. Now think about all the autistic children you know. They are the adults of the future.
Frightening isn't it?
Now you know one reason I wish time would stand still.
For mor information on autism visit http://www.jeanshaw.com
My son is autistic and is eighteen. Until now he has been very lucky. He has been able to access support via childrens' services, but I realise many people aren't as fortunate. I've heard numerous tales of parents who've had to really fight for what little help they've had and many get none at all.
I do, but that will soon change. Although my son can already legally drive, drink and vote, he is considered a child until he is nineteen and can remain at his special needs school and go to respite once a month until then. However, as soon as he hits that age he becomes an adult.
Whilst his needs will still be the same, the help to which he will be entitled will be reduced - considerably. Suddenly everything, which has become so familiar to him over the years, will stop.
I wish for his sake and mine time would stand still.
We are currently in the "transition" period where we are exploring the options available to him. They are limited to say the least but we are fortunate in as much as he is not physically disabled which must make things far more difficult.
However, nothing we have seen so far even comes close to what we aspire. The local options aren't really suitable and aren't conducive to his continued improvement. It's depressing and I often wish I could go to sleep and wake up to find the whole autism thing was just a bad dream.
Having said that I realise I am actually one of the lucky ones for my son has got options. Other autistic children/adults don't. It's no wonder parents despair and either accept anything offered, or send their children miles away to some form of residential unit simply because there is nothing appropriate closer to home.
The National Autistic Society now suggests 1 in 100 children suffer from some form of autistic spectrum disorder. In 1993 when my son was diagnosed it was 1 in 2500.
The problem is that all these autistic children will grow up to be autistic adults, and the big question is what will they do?
Apparently only 15% of adults with autism manage to hold down employment and 49% never leave home. That means in many cases elderly parents are effectively looking after their age 40 plus children and it's a worry. What happens if they get ill? Who then will look after their children and how will they adapt?
It's a frightening scenario and one that many parents currently face. Since autism is a problem that isn't going away there needs to be more co-ordinated planning and services put in place before it is too late.
Families need help to enable their adults with autism to be more independent otherwise the cost to the community will be immense. If there is no-where for the people with autism to work then their carers can't work either.
I once heard someone exclaim the world would be destroyed by the three A's - anger, avarice and autism. Maybe that's true.
We are already seeing wars and violence created by anger and greed. Now think about all the autistic children you know. They are the adults of the future.
Frightening isn't it?
Now you know one reason I wish time would stand still.
For mor information on autism visit http://www.jeanshaw.com
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