I have always been an early bird and am very good at getting up in the mornings. I know it's not the case for everyone though, and often see people drag themselves, bleary eyed past my house on their way to catch the morning train.
I feel sorry for them, especially when the weather is bad and know they'll arrive for work cold and wet. In the summer too, when the weather is warm and sunny, they'll be stuck indoors trading their time for money making someone else richer.
It's not just the working either. Many people spend several hours travelling to and from their place of work, and there's a lot more to consider than just the pay packet when you are offered a "job". The word "freedom" springs to mind, or rather lack of.
Of course we all have to work and it's such a shame so few people actually enjoy what they are doing. I think I can count on one hand those who have told me over the years that they "love their job".
However, love it or loath it, a "job" tends to take up a vast proportion of a person's life, and it comes as quite a shock when one isn't available. Financially it makes things difficult, but also many people often miss the social side of working. Of course not everyone gets on with all their work colleagues, but we are social creatures and used to being with others.
The main problem for most people who have no "job" is they find themselves with too much time on their hands and no idea how to fill it. That's one of the reasons many people seem to change once they retire and although we might all say we can't wait to give up work, the reality is often quite different.
Men, in particular, find retirement difficult because if their wives are at home they usually do the domestic chores and often complain their husbands are now always "under their feet".
If a person has a hobby or interest, that obviously helps considerably, and so does having plenty of income. Everything costs money and people live a long time these days. Unless you have made wise investments over the years, any retirement nest egg can soon disappear.
That's where blogging can be such a wonderful opportunity. If anyone can use a computer and can type e-mails then it opens a whole new world. It's easy to learn and anyone can do it regardless of age.
You can set up a blog for FREE, and although you don't have to blog to make money, it can certainly provide a very lucrative passive income once you understand the process.
It's something you can do from home, or anywhere with a computer access. You also work the hours you choose and that means just one thing – Freedom!
You can find many free and paid courses on blogging but one of the best ones I've found is provided free with GVO which is an amazing hosting company providing all the tools you need to create a presence online.
Take a look and check out Chet Hastings videos. He's an inspirational grandad who didn't start on the internet until he was in his sixties!
Take care and good luck
Jean Shaw
02/04/2008
Autism Awareness - Things Are Not Always What They Seem
Autism Awareness
Apparently this week is autism awareness week. For those of us who have children with autism, every week is autism awareness week - every week, every day, every hour, every minute, every second. There's no escape, and for some the reality is very hard to take.
Some parents are so conscious of the unusual and unpredictable behaviour of their offspring; they refuse to take them out in public. Instead, they elect to hide away in the safety and seclusion of their own four walls, unable to face the stares, the whisperings and the downright rude remarks.
I know. I've been there, done that and worn the tee-shirt.
The big problem with autism, apart from the fact it is different for every one with the disability, is that it is invisible. There is usually nothing for the outside world to see. Our children look "normal".
When an autistic child misbehaves in public it is generally seen as a failure on the part of the parents to control him or her. The child is obviously "naughty", spoiled rotten and clearly in need of a firm hand. At least that's the way it appears.
However, perception and reality are two different things.
Autistic children do everything for a reason. When my son was small he used to hit and kick me all the time. He would have terrible tantrums, throw himself on the floor screaming and I never knew why. I only knew he wasn’t being deliberately naughty. He was just frustrated because he had no way of communicating.
Just imagine how you would feel if you suffered a stroke or some other condition which left you so you couldn't speak, read or write. You were also unable to point, or look at the things you actually wanted. Also, you didn't know the difference between Yes and No, so even if someone did ask you an appropriately worded question , you wouldn't be able to answer.
How would you communicate? How would you tell the world what you wanted if you couldn't actually see or get it?
Just think about that the next time you see some poor harassed parent with a seemingly spoiled and naughty child. Don't judge. Those poor people will be doing the best they can in a VERY difficult situation and the last thing they need is for people to stare and criticise.
Thankfully my son has learned to communicate and I am no longer his punch bag. Never once have I hit him but many people have told me I should have given him a good smack round the backside. "That will sort him out", they said.
One woman even offered to lend me her walking stick to beat him with when he was misbehaving in a shop, but children learn by example. What sort of example would a smack give? Anyway I knew he wasn't really naughty.
Autism is a growing problem. It's not going away and at some point you will come across some autistic children and some very worried and anxious parents. Please don't make their lives any harder by making rash judgments.
Many autistic children are hypersensitive. They see, hear, and feel far more than we do, and things like shopping can be painful and frightening experiences for them. Autism is a very complex disability.
So the next time you're out and see a parent struggling with a "naughty child", just stop and think for moment. Things aren't always as they seem!
Jean Shaw
www.jeanshaw.com
For an EASY to read, FUNNY and FASCINATING, TRUE STORY about AUTISM
to help explain the condition to friends, family, neighbours, teachers and just about anyone else on the planet.
Apparently this week is autism awareness week. For those of us who have children with autism, every week is autism awareness week - every week, every day, every hour, every minute, every second. There's no escape, and for some the reality is very hard to take.
Some parents are so conscious of the unusual and unpredictable behaviour of their offspring; they refuse to take them out in public. Instead, they elect to hide away in the safety and seclusion of their own four walls, unable to face the stares, the whisperings and the downright rude remarks.
I know. I've been there, done that and worn the tee-shirt.
The big problem with autism, apart from the fact it is different for every one with the disability, is that it is invisible. There is usually nothing for the outside world to see. Our children look "normal".
When an autistic child misbehaves in public it is generally seen as a failure on the part of the parents to control him or her. The child is obviously "naughty", spoiled rotten and clearly in need of a firm hand. At least that's the way it appears.
However, perception and reality are two different things.
Autistic children do everything for a reason. When my son was small he used to hit and kick me all the time. He would have terrible tantrums, throw himself on the floor screaming and I never knew why. I only knew he wasn’t being deliberately naughty. He was just frustrated because he had no way of communicating.
Just imagine how you would feel if you suffered a stroke or some other condition which left you so you couldn't speak, read or write. You were also unable to point, or look at the things you actually wanted. Also, you didn't know the difference between Yes and No, so even if someone did ask you an appropriately worded question , you wouldn't be able to answer.
How would you communicate? How would you tell the world what you wanted if you couldn't actually see or get it?
Just think about that the next time you see some poor harassed parent with a seemingly spoiled and naughty child. Don't judge. Those poor people will be doing the best they can in a VERY difficult situation and the last thing they need is for people to stare and criticise.
Thankfully my son has learned to communicate and I am no longer his punch bag. Never once have I hit him but many people have told me I should have given him a good smack round the backside. "That will sort him out", they said.
One woman even offered to lend me her walking stick to beat him with when he was misbehaving in a shop, but children learn by example. What sort of example would a smack give? Anyway I knew he wasn't really naughty.
Autism is a growing problem. It's not going away and at some point you will come across some autistic children and some very worried and anxious parents. Please don't make their lives any harder by making rash judgments.
Many autistic children are hypersensitive. They see, hear, and feel far more than we do, and things like shopping can be painful and frightening experiences for them. Autism is a very complex disability.
So the next time you're out and see a parent struggling with a "naughty child", just stop and think for moment. Things aren't always as they seem!
Jean Shaw
www.jeanshaw.com
For an EASY to read, FUNNY and FASCINATING, TRUE STORY about AUTISM
to help explain the condition to friends, family, neighbours, teachers and just about anyone else on the planet.
30/03/2008
Review of Lisa Diane's Dream Life Discovery
Lisa Diane's Dream Life Discovery - A Review
I've always believed everything happens for a reason and we have a choice to either move on or just accept what life throws at us.
It would have been easy for me to just roll over when my son was diagnosed with autism but deep down I knew that something good would come out of it and it has. My books have apparently helped others and that is great.
Someone else who has helped others is Lisa Diane, and it is not without good reason she has been dubbed the "Queen of Dreams". Her rags to riches story has been an inspiration to thousands of people, and her expertise has generated multi-million dollar revenues.
I've always believed everything happens for a reason and we have a choice to either move on or just accept what life throws at us.
It would have been easy for me to just roll over when my son was diagnosed with autism but deep down I knew that something good would come out of it and it has. My books have apparently helped others and that is great.
Someone else who has helped others is Lisa Diane, and it is not without good reason she has been dubbed the "Queen of Dreams". Her rags to riches story has been an inspiration to thousands of people, and her expertise has generated multi-million dollar revenues.
Her unique qualities contribute that special something which no-one else can replicate and clearly she was put on this earth to share the secret of how to be in control of your own destiny,
She enjoys a lifestyle most people only dream of but it's not all about money. She has total freedom and the ability to enjoy peace of mind.
Lisa wasn't born into money, didn't have a college education or any special skills or training. She's just an ordinary woman from an ordinary family, and if you were to pass her in the street you would never guess the extraordinary power this woman possesses. Highly respected in the Internet Marketing circle, everything Lisa Diane says makes sense.
When she speaks, she's truly inspirational, and her Dream Life Discovery programme is a revelation. It makes you look at yourself in a way that isn't always comfortable and makes you realise that with just a little shift in belief and attitude you have the power to control your own destiny.
Dream Life Discovery is no ordinary self-help or motivational type information. Infact, much of it you already know, but just don't realise, and this simple, easy to use, step-by-step proven method allows the average person to be truly happy, healthy and wealthy instead of just settling for what comes along. Most people have the quality of their lives dictated by other people, and 97% of people never discover there are no limits to have, do or be everything they want in life.
The course itself consists of a few worksheets and 12 audio CD's. In each one you genuinely get an "Aha" moment when the truth hits home. Inspired by the universal Laws of Attraction and Gratitude, Lisa reveals we get what we expect and accept.
She explains, clearly that success, health, wealth and happiness are your birthright and YOU have the power to design your ultimate life. Coming from a religious background she points out it wasn't God's intention for us to be unhappy, unloved, unfulfilled and full of worry and stress, and infact we create our own lives. Indeed, she affirms the only limits to what you can have, be or do are those you place on yourself.
The twelve sessions are narrated primarily by Lisa Diane, and her enthusiasm is infectious. Each one lasts about an hour and their titles give some indication as to their content:
Don't Just Dream Your Life, Live Your Dreams
How To Think So Your Life Doesn't Stink
Dreaming With Your Eyes Wide Open
5 Magic Words - Become Your Magic Wand
I'll Take Sticks And Stones Any Day
Obsess Your Way To A Magnificent Life
Speak What You Seek
The Art Of Abundance
Love The One You're With
The 20 Minute Miracle
The Art Of Asking
The Art Of Receiving
Dream Life Discovery raises your awareness of the world around you and opens your mind to new opportunities and dreams. It allows you to re-write your life by emphasising that your thoughts create your life. It's a purpose led, think and grow rich system.
Session 10, which is the 20 Minute Miracle, is split into four, five-minute sessions. Lisa Diane suggests you practice them every day. The first part is a breathing exercise, the second is where you concentrate on all the things in your life you are grateful for, the third is a visualisation session where you create the life you want as if it already exists, and finally, in step four you make your affirmations and thank God for your creations.
It's very powerful – (if you use it), and Lisa Diane is so confident of the positive outcome of her system, she offers a full 6-month guarantee.
It's simple but effective and I believe this system could work for anyone. I personally feel it ought to be included as part of the school curriculum, and handed out by doctors instead of prescription drugs and medication.
It's not a magic pill, but could be life changing. Certainly it's well worth investigating if you want more from life, albeit wealth, joy, success, happiness, confidence, self-esteem or simply peace of mind.
It's worth noting that just for handing over your e-mail address you can get a FREE copy of the 20 Minute Miracle, and that I believe is a "no-brainer". Dream Life Discovery certainly gets my approval.
Jean Shaw
14/03/2008
Autism And Self Harm. Surely Parents Know Best
My youngest son has autism. When he was small he used to beat me up regularly. He would hit and kick me out of sheer frustration. I never knew why and he could never explain. He'd come in from school or being in the garden and would attack me for seemingly no obvious reason.
Luckly over the years he's found ways to communicate and I am no longer treated as a punch bag for which I am extremely grateful. Another thing I am grateful for is that my son never self-harmed. Many autistic individuals do, and I've just read an article about a seventeen-year-old autistic boy who was taken away from his loving parents and placed in a state-run mental institution because of it.
Of course no-one wants to see a child injured but clearly the Child Protection Services involved in the case have little understanding of autism and just made what was a bad situation even worse. They may have been genuinely concerned about the child and disagreed with his parents’holistic treatment choices, but taking him away from his loving home, placing him with the criminally insane, and then putting him on dangerous drugs is going too far.
Such ignorance, even if originally well motivated, should not be allowed.
Read the article for yourself and see what you think.
Child Abuse by the Government
Orange County Register – February 17 2008
Nate Tseglin, a 17-year-old autistic boy, was removed from his home and placed in a state-run mental institution because Child Protective Services disagreed with his parents’ treatment choices.
A teacher called CPS after seeing self-inflicted scratches on Nate's body and complained about the doctor-approved arm restraints used by Nate’s parents to keep him from hurting himself. Soon the Tseglins found themselves at loggerheads with the government over Nate's proper treatment.
The parents are opposed to the use of psychotropic drugs and argue that Nate has had strong negative reactions to them. They have had success, however, with an alternative, holistic approach that focuses on diet and psychiatric counseling. CPS disagreed with the treatment and forcibly removed the boy from his home.
After he ran away from the group home where he was initially placed, the government transferred Nate to a mental hospital. The Tseglins say the drugs the hospital gave Nate caused him to have a grand mal seizure, and his health has continued to deteriorate. When the Tseglins visited Nate over the summer, they found his face swollen, and he faded in and out of consciousness and suffered from convulsions.
The Tseglins claim Child Protective Services has told them they have the “wrong set of beliefs” and even threatened to force them to undergo a court-ordered psychological evaluation.
It makes me realise just how lucky I am!
Luckly over the years he's found ways to communicate and I am no longer treated as a punch bag for which I am extremely grateful. Another thing I am grateful for is that my son never self-harmed. Many autistic individuals do, and I've just read an article about a seventeen-year-old autistic boy who was taken away from his loving parents and placed in a state-run mental institution because of it.
Of course no-one wants to see a child injured but clearly the Child Protection Services involved in the case have little understanding of autism and just made what was a bad situation even worse. They may have been genuinely concerned about the child and disagreed with his parents’holistic treatment choices, but taking him away from his loving home, placing him with the criminally insane, and then putting him on dangerous drugs is going too far.
Such ignorance, even if originally well motivated, should not be allowed.
Read the article for yourself and see what you think.
Child Abuse by the Government
Orange County Register – February 17 2008
Nate Tseglin, a 17-year-old autistic boy, was removed from his home and placed in a state-run mental institution because Child Protective Services disagreed with his parents’ treatment choices.
A teacher called CPS after seeing self-inflicted scratches on Nate's body and complained about the doctor-approved arm restraints used by Nate’s parents to keep him from hurting himself. Soon the Tseglins found themselves at loggerheads with the government over Nate's proper treatment.
The parents are opposed to the use of psychotropic drugs and argue that Nate has had strong negative reactions to them. They have had success, however, with an alternative, holistic approach that focuses on diet and psychiatric counseling. CPS disagreed with the treatment and forcibly removed the boy from his home.
After he ran away from the group home where he was initially placed, the government transferred Nate to a mental hospital. The Tseglins say the drugs the hospital gave Nate caused him to have a grand mal seizure, and his health has continued to deteriorate. When the Tseglins visited Nate over the summer, they found his face swollen, and he faded in and out of consciousness and suffered from convulsions.
The Tseglins claim Child Protective Services has told them they have the “wrong set of beliefs” and even threatened to force them to undergo a court-ordered psychological evaluation.
It makes me realise just how lucky I am!
13/03/2008
Dyslexia –How Schooling Affects Behaviour
My autistic son will be leaving school this summer. He has autism and I am extremely grateful he has always attended a special needs school where his particular needs have been recognised. However, I am now waiting for a decision, which will ultimately change his life, and mine, i.e. where he will go next.
There is very little provision for adults with autism and at the age of nineteen he could find himself in an environment with people almost four times his age. Once an adult, always an adult, and the services take no account of whether you are nineteen or ninety.
Finding the right school or provision is so important for every child and there will be several parents disappointed to learn they haven't got their child into the school of their choice.
Schooling is an issue for parents of all children, but if your child has some form of special needs, especially if it hasn't been formally identified and recognised, it can be particularly harrowing.
One poor woman was so desperate to find a school where her clearly intelligent, but incredibly dyslexic son's needs could be addressed, she bought her own. That's a bit extreme, but when she learned the school which appeared to finally understand her thirteen-year-old son was due to close at the end of the Christmas term, she followed her gut instinct and bought it.
Now Annabel Goodman is obviously reasonably well off. She has a degree in psychology and is a barrister but has no teaching experience. Her main asset is she is a mother and understands her son.
She knows the reason her first born has already changed schools nine different schools in his short life time is because the classroom environment was not set up to see how clever Jacob really was.
Whilst most people were pouring over what presents to buy for Christmas, and enjoying the New Year festivities, Annabel was deciding how to raise the funds to
buy the small school before the beginning of the following term, and how to actually run it.
Luckily, she raised the money, the three teaching staff decided to remain, as did the twelve children, and this has now increased to seventeen teachers with thirty-four children. Annabel runs it, helps out with teaching the Primary school children,
and teaches Citizenship to the older children. She still also works as a barrister.
I admire her.
I know from my experience with autism when you have even one child with some form of special needs, it affects the whole family. It is not just the child and his or her family, but siblings and grandparents too.
The school your child attends can significantly either help or hinder the situation, but sadly not all pupils with special needs will ever have them identified. Many are seen as just being disruptive, but people with dyslexia find it hard to follow instructions, read or copy from the board.
I have in the past worked as a teaching assistant and seen the problems first hand. Many children with problems like dyslexia, especially in their teenage years, lose self-confidence. Even their peers may call them "thick", "dumb" or "stupid". Often they play the fool in the classroom just to take attention away from the fact they are struggling with the written work their classmates are doing. They are perceived to be naughty, and yet most are really creative, well co-ordinated physically and have a lot of empathy for others.
However, given the correct environment, where the classes are personalised for the individuals, these dyslexic children can thrive. Clearly they are intelligent and verbally bright. Their problem is demonstrating their unique abilities in the way most school environments expect.
Dyslexia is a permanent specific learning difficulty, which affects a person's ability to deal with text, and often numbers. It affects between 4 – 8% of the population, and like autism is more prevalent in boys than girls. The rates are about 1:4 for boys and 1:10 for girls.
Unfortunately, many children go through their entire schooling never being properly diagnosed and it's no wonder there is so much trouble in many mainstream schools. One disruptive child in a classroom can seriously influence the learning experience of the rest of the students and that's another reason parents need to find the correct school for their offspring.
Education is the key to life and if a child leaves with low literacy skills his or her employment prospects could be seriously impaired. Unfortunately, these days it's usually the formal qualifications you have which gets you the first foot in the door. It doesn't matter how skilled you are, how trustworthy or reliable, the best jobs go to those who can read and write and have the qualifications to prove it.
It's a worry. Anyone know of any more schools for sale?
Jean Shaw
www.jeanshaw.blogspot.com
Are you an adult (16+) with possible undiagnosed dyslexia?
Adult Dyslexia Online Screening
There is very little provision for adults with autism and at the age of nineteen he could find himself in an environment with people almost four times his age. Once an adult, always an adult, and the services take no account of whether you are nineteen or ninety.
Finding the right school or provision is so important for every child and there will be several parents disappointed to learn they haven't got their child into the school of their choice.
Schooling is an issue for parents of all children, but if your child has some form of special needs, especially if it hasn't been formally identified and recognised, it can be particularly harrowing.
One poor woman was so desperate to find a school where her clearly intelligent, but incredibly dyslexic son's needs could be addressed, she bought her own. That's a bit extreme, but when she learned the school which appeared to finally understand her thirteen-year-old son was due to close at the end of the Christmas term, she followed her gut instinct and bought it.
Now Annabel Goodman is obviously reasonably well off. She has a degree in psychology and is a barrister but has no teaching experience. Her main asset is she is a mother and understands her son.
She knows the reason her first born has already changed schools nine different schools in his short life time is because the classroom environment was not set up to see how clever Jacob really was.
Whilst most people were pouring over what presents to buy for Christmas, and enjoying the New Year festivities, Annabel was deciding how to raise the funds to
buy the small school before the beginning of the following term, and how to actually run it.
Luckily, she raised the money, the three teaching staff decided to remain, as did the twelve children, and this has now increased to seventeen teachers with thirty-four children. Annabel runs it, helps out with teaching the Primary school children,
and teaches Citizenship to the older children. She still also works as a barrister.
I admire her.
I know from my experience with autism when you have even one child with some form of special needs, it affects the whole family. It is not just the child and his or her family, but siblings and grandparents too.
The school your child attends can significantly either help or hinder the situation, but sadly not all pupils with special needs will ever have them identified. Many are seen as just being disruptive, but people with dyslexia find it hard to follow instructions, read or copy from the board.
I have in the past worked as a teaching assistant and seen the problems first hand. Many children with problems like dyslexia, especially in their teenage years, lose self-confidence. Even their peers may call them "thick", "dumb" or "stupid". Often they play the fool in the classroom just to take attention away from the fact they are struggling with the written work their classmates are doing. They are perceived to be naughty, and yet most are really creative, well co-ordinated physically and have a lot of empathy for others.
However, given the correct environment, where the classes are personalised for the individuals, these dyslexic children can thrive. Clearly they are intelligent and verbally bright. Their problem is demonstrating their unique abilities in the way most school environments expect.
Dyslexia is a permanent specific learning difficulty, which affects a person's ability to deal with text, and often numbers. It affects between 4 – 8% of the population, and like autism is more prevalent in boys than girls. The rates are about 1:4 for boys and 1:10 for girls.
Unfortunately, many children go through their entire schooling never being properly diagnosed and it's no wonder there is so much trouble in many mainstream schools. One disruptive child in a classroom can seriously influence the learning experience of the rest of the students and that's another reason parents need to find the correct school for their offspring.
Education is the key to life and if a child leaves with low literacy skills his or her employment prospects could be seriously impaired. Unfortunately, these days it's usually the formal qualifications you have which gets you the first foot in the door. It doesn't matter how skilled you are, how trustworthy or reliable, the best jobs go to those who can read and write and have the qualifications to prove it.
It's a worry. Anyone know of any more schools for sale?
Jean Shaw
www.jeanshaw.blogspot.com
Are you an adult (16+) with possible undiagnosed dyslexia?
10/03/2008
If You Want A Positive Attitude Get Singing! Tune In To Positivity
My son is autistic and only says a few words. When he does speak it's not very clear and yet when he sings familiar songs you can understand everything he says, or rather sings. Infact I know a young man who also has autism and was taught to speak through singing. His parents sang rather than spoke to him. Luckily they both had good voices.
I know I am musically challenged and my absolute nightmare would be to sing in public. How people perform karaoke I'll never know, but there's just something about music that gets to you. It lifts your spirits and reaches deep inside. It can even change your attitude.
Sometimes, however, I just can't stop myself and have to burst into song. Certain jingles just stick in my head and I can't get rid of them. Today was like that but thankfully the neighbours were out!
I don't know whether you believe in personal development and positive thinking or not, but there are a lot of people who do. I'm one of them. The hard thing though is remaining positive. We all have those days when it seems the world is against us and sometimes it's a struggle to put on a happy face and remain optimistic.
However, it's all about attitude. If you believe in the best with an inner conviction, rather than just hope for it, then that's what will manifest. Lisa Diane, a charming, very successful lady and real motivator, is renowned for using the phrase "Your thoughts create your life". I'm not sure where it originated but certainly it's your thoughts which trigger some sort of action, and it's that action which determines the result, so she is right.
So there you go - if you don't get the result you want, it's because you were thinking the wrong thoughts in the first place. I know it sounds a bit far fetched but I recommend you either watch or read The Secret, and read about the Law of Attraction, then maybe you'll understand why things happen. You have to focus on what you want, rather than what you don't want in your life, remain positive and back up that positivity with positive affirmations.
It isn't always easy, but this tune I heard today is just brilliant as a tool to help you. It's the easiest and most fun way I know to keep you focused on whatever it is you wish for.
Go on - listen to it and I bet you'll be singing along too.
29/02/2008
Marriage Proposals - 29th February – Will It Be Lucky or Unlucky?
The Gregorian calendar came into existence in 1582 and ever since the days in the months have been explained with the following:
30 days hath September, April, June and November. All the rest have 31, except February alone, which has 28 days clear and 29 in each leap year.
Well, today is 29th February and depending on your outlook anyone born on this day is either incredibly lucky or unlucky.
If you are an optimist you will realise that technically you only age one year in every four, which is great once you get older and the years seem to rush by far too quickly. However, for those of you who love birthdays then it's not so good as you miss out for 75% of your life.
Today is also the day when women are traditionally allowed to propose to their loved ones and again depending on your outlook this can be extremely lucky or unlucky.
On the television this morning several women had said they were intending to ask their other halves to marry them. One woman had gone so far as to arrange a secret party. She'd invited fifty family and friends and was optimistically planning to make the surprise bash her engagement, hen party and wedding too. I just hope the prospective groom doesn't decide he wants to watch football or something and not turn up, or worse still turn down her proposal.
Wouldn't that be awful?
There seems to be a difference of opinion about whether women should propose or not. Certainly there has been a shift in the idea women have to wait for men to make the first move, and many women say if they waited for their partners to actually ask then they'd wait forever. Others say as they wanted to enter marriage with the idea of it being a permanent thing, (at least initially), if they asked their boyfriend to marry them they could potentially miss out on the romance of ever being proposed to.
From the male point of view being asked to marry by their girlfriend can be quite scary. It's not being asked which seems to be the problem, but the whole wedding day thing if they say "Yes".
For women it's supposed to be the most important day of their lives and generally they enjoy the preparations, etc. It's something women supposedly dream of, but most men, on the other hand, consider the wedding day the ultimate cruelty – public humiliation and all that.
Also, apparently they feel trapped if they are asked to become a husband on 29th February because they have no time to think it over. Twenty-four hours every four years is not a lot of time to make such an important decision.
Even if they really love their partners they feel they'd like to make a decision in their own time. Increasingly in society, many men feel they are losing control of so many areas of their lives, and the decision of if, who and when to marry is important to them.
Anyway, I'm sure there will be a lot of proposals made today and I hope they will all result in happy endings – particularly that surprise proposal/engagement/wedding.
However, if you feel you need a bit of help in coming up with a great marriage proposal you might want to look at:
"The Romantic's Guide To Popping The Question"
Jean Shaw
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